had rather long day outside. was out for about 12hours.

somehow, i realise it is much better when i sleep lesser.
been sleeping only 4-6hours for the past few days, but i dont feel tired.
alright, i have no idea what is wrong with my body clock, it's so screwed.
the more i sleep, the sleepier i get; the earlier i sleep, the harder to fall asleep.

anyway, worked this morning. i swear i was very inattentive at work ):
heh, cause my baby was at safra, SHOOTING ._. cool huh
ohoh! im working FULL SHIFT on sunday, oh yeah~ im happy.
actually, im just a crazy girl who likes to work full shift. it's not tiring! really.

at work i was kinda half emoing cause it's kinda boring ._.
so i was thinking about the past.. i asked myself
"if the current me met the past me, what would i say?"
i guess what i'd say to the innocent and immature girl back then was
"look, look at me. see these scars? see how broken i am?
if you want to become like me, then go ahead!"
oh well, what's done cannot be undone. nothing i can do.

not gonna tell you in details how my day went..

but sometimes, i realise that instead of making someone feel bad,
i rather keep the truth and hide my thoughts, make them feel that im at fault.
because this way, things are better and easier to deal with.


been talking a little too much about death lately, that everyone's scared for me.
i mean, OKAY, RELAX, im not going to do anything stupid or take my life now.
also talking about smoking drinking slashing and overdosing a little too much too.
so much, that today someone went to do some health checkup for me ._.
but eh, everyone, relax~ im fine! really! dont worry la~


it feels good when you have someone there beside you and give you courage.
perhaps you wouldnt know. but you made me feel so much more stronger.
dont do so much for me alright, i still want to be independent afterall.
anyway, im almost done walking out of those shadows,
just give me a week or so, i promise i'll forget it all.

anyway, to this big kid i met today.
thanks for accompanying me while i worked.
sorry for losing your keys
sorry i made you late for work
thanks for whatever that happened when i dozed off
thanks for sending me back home.
sorry you had to go back for your work on your own
many 'thankyou's and 'sorry's. and i know you'll say "nevermind" and "it's okay"
i really had a great day, enjoyed myself ^^

oh well, in short,
im being well protected :D